To Be or Not to Be
by irishgirl9
Summary: AU. Alec wants Asha. Asha wants Alec too, but is afraid. What happened to scar her so badly she runs from him? Will she be able to put aside her fears and doubts to forge a lasting relationship with him?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Anything you recognize, I do not own. The rest are figments of my imagination.

**A/N: **This is my first time writing for _Dark Angel_. I usually write _Supernatural _fan fiction and I hope that I don't screw up DA too much. I recently rewatched all of season two. I saw a lot of chemistry between Asha and Alec and I'm a bit saddened that the show didn't follow up on it. This is my take on Alec and Asha. It it set sometime after Hello, Goodbye, and goes AU b/c Freak Nation doesn't take place in this story. I hope you all enjoy it!

* * *

Alec woke up feeling cold. He reached out for Asha only to find her side of the bed empty. He got up in search of her, hoping that he would find her in the kitchen making coffee. She would be standing there wearing nothing, but an old t-shirt of his. It would be oversized on her, but he knew she would look sexy as hell in it.

The kitchen was empty, as was the bathroom. A quick scan of the apartment revealed that Alec was alone. A curious sensation washed over him that he couldn't quite explain. It was sadness. He was sad that Asha didn't stay. Alec couldn't understand why he should feel that way. Many times he had spent the night with a girl and she didn't stay the night. He was always relieved when he woke up alone. A relief spread through him that he didn't have to make any awkward small talk and false promises that he would call in a day or two. Why then should it bother him that Asha ducked out on him? Because she's not just any girl is she? That was a question that he refused to answer right then.

_Previous Night_

Alec was standing at the bar in Crash bored out of his mind. Usually he was never bored when he was at his favorite hang out. He would be having drinks with the Jam Pony gang and winning half of Sketchy's paycheck playing pool. But tonight Alec was alone. Max and Cindy were visiting Joshua. Logan was working on some Eyes Only stuff and shock of all shocks Sketchy actually had a date. So Alec found himself all alone. He was thinking about heading over to Joshua's place when Asha walked in the door. Maybe tonight won't be a bust after all he thought. He wouldn't mind spending some time flirting with the pretty blonde. Alec knew he had told her to leave him alone, but they ran around in some of the same circles and they found themselves around each other a lot. They couldn't help, but flirt with one another. It was like second nature to them

"Hey Asha," Alec called out.

"Hi Alec," Asha was surprised to see him alone. "Where is everybody?"

"Not here."

"I can see that. I just never thought of you as the drink alone kind of guy."

"Yeah well I just needed some one on one time with my favorite beer."

Asha gave a small chuckle. Maybe tonight wouldn't turn out so boring after all.

"So what about you? Nothing big going down with the S1W tonight."

"Nope."

oooooOOOOooooo

After sharing a couple of beers Alec and Asha went for a walk. It was a nice evening out weather wise and after strolling for a while they ended up at Alec's apartment, sitting on the sofa, sharing a beer.

Alec stared at Asha for a few moments. She's beautiful he thought. Unlike some girls Asha didn't cover her face with heaps of makeup or wearing clothes that looked more trashy than sexy. In her low rise jeans and her t-shirt that rose slightly to show off a couple of inches of creamy skin, she looked incredibly sexy to Alec. After taking a sip of beer she licked her lips. It was an innocent gesture, but it drove Alec wild. He had this sudden urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her. He wanted to kiss her until she returned the kiss and it became their whole world. Instead he took a long swig of his beer.

Asha sat on the sofa trying not to feel self-conscious. She could feel Alec's eyes on her. There was a longing in his gaze. Part of her wanted to scoot across the sofa and plant one on him. She had thought about kissing Alec many times, but she had remembered what he told her before that it wasn't a good idea to get involved with him. There was a small voice in the back of her head that also told her this wasn't a good idea. Part of her wanted to listen to voice and run from Alec's apartment as fast and as far as she could. Another part of her wanted to tell the voice to shut the hell up. Which part would she listen to?

"So Asha…"

"Yes."

"Uh what's new with you?" What's new with you? They had already spent a couple of hours talking and the best Alec could come up with was what's new with you. Usually he never had a hard time making small talk with woman. Give a him a few minutes and he could charm them right out of their pants. But with Asha he found himself wanting more than just small talk and a romp in the sack. However right now being this close to her it was as if his brain left his head.

"Not much really, the S1W and helping out Eyes Only take up a lot of my time." Asha took a sip of her of beer and licked her lips.

Watching Asha lick her lips again had Alec losing it. He leaned over and pulled her close. Not giving her a chance to protest he placed his lips over hers in a kiss that started out gentle, but quickly became heated. The voice in the back of Asha's head that said this might not be such a good idea shut up all together as she became completely lost in the kiss.

In his wildest fantasies, Alec never thought kissing Asha would feel this good. He deepened kissed and pushed his tongue against her lips seeking entrance. She opened up and their tongues intertwined in a mock duel for control.

After a few intense minutes of kissing, Alec and Asha managed to get up off the sofa and make it into the bedroom. Pretty soon their clothes were in a heap on the floor. Asha moved towards the bed, but Alec stopped her for a moment. He had thought he was she was beautiful with her clothes on, but without them she was absolutely breathtaking. Alec stared so long that she started to blush and he found it totally adorable.

Asha felt so exposed standing naked in front of Alec. His eyes were raking over her body slowly and it nearly caused to her flee the room. Asha reminded herself that she wanted and needed this. All rational thoughts left her the moment that Alec pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Her body eagerly responded to his and they tumbled into bed together.

When it was over Alec and Asha lay sated arms wrapped around each other. Alec surprised himself when he whispered _stay_ as Asha tried to slip out of bed. He drifted off to slip sleep with his arms wrapped tightly around her.

Once Alec was asleep the little voice in Asha's head returned full force. She had to get out of there. Being as quiet as she could slipped out of bed and quickly got dressed. Before she exited the room she turned to take one last look at Alec. He lay on his back with the sheet pooled around his waist. He looked so peaceful laying there with a smile gracing his lips. For a moment Asha was tempted to slip back under the covers, but the voice in her head won out and she fled Alec's apartment.

_End Previous Night_

Sitting down on the sofa, Alec let out a loud sigh. He didn't know what he was going to do about Asha. They had crossed a line last night and there was no going back from there. He didn't want to go back. Now he could only hope that Asha felt the same way.

_More to Come_

Reviews are always greatly appreciated. Please take a moment to let me know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a week since that night. A week since Alec had last seen Asha. He tried calling, but got no answer. He went to crash every night hoping to run into her, but she never showed up. It was as if Asha was trying to avoid him altogether.

After a long day of work, Alec wanted nothing more than to go home and crash in front of the TV. He had been chased by a psychotic dog. Two customers refused to sign for their packages and a car had splashed water on him. He was in no mood to hang out at crash, but Sketchy had begged so now Alec was on his way over.

Walking in the door the Alec automatically scanned the place for Asha. He already figured she wasn't there, but couldn't help himself. Much to his surprise he saw her sitting at a table with some of her S1W buddies. He wanted to go over to her, but decided to play it cool and went to the bar to get a beer.

oooooOOOOooooo

Asha knew she couldn't hide out from Alec forever, but she half wished she could. Ever since their night together her emotions had been running high. She had been purposefully avoiding him because she didn't know what to say about why she ran out on him. She hadn't wanted to come to Crash that night because she knew there was a good chance Alec would be there, but the gang insisted.

"Asha, it's your round," said Tim, an S1W member who stood about six feet tall with short brown hair and hazel eyes.

"Sure, just give me a sec," replied Asha. She had been hoping that once Alec got his drink he would join his friends by the pool table, no such luck. Reluctantly she made her way to the bar.

"Can I get another?" said Asha as she handed the pitcher to the bartender.

"Hey Asha," said Alec.

"Hey Alec," replied Asha.

"So where you been lately?"

"I've been busy. You know lots of S1W stuff."

"Too busy to answer my phone calls."

"Look Alec…"

Alec cut her off before she could finish. "What happened Asha? I thought we were having a great time and next thing I know I wake up alone."

"Can we please not do this here?"

"Do what, discuss how you ran out on me that night?"

Before Asha could answer him, the bartender returned with her pitcher. She paid for it and turned to Alec. "Look Alec, the guys are waiting. I have to go." With that Asha turned to leave. Alec grabbing her arm prevented her.

"Asha, we need to talk."

"Let go of me." This was a slight bit of fear in her voice.

The tone of her voice caught Alec by surprise and he quickly let go of Asha's arm. She made a hasty retreat to her friends leaving Alec to stare after her.

"Hey Asha, what's up with you and that guy Alec?" asked Tim.

"Nothing," replied Asha.

oooooOOOOooooo

Alec stared after Asha as she walked away. He couldn't help, but notice her reaction to him grabbing her arm. He hadn't meant to frighten her. He wished he could get inside her head and figure what was going on. He knew she wanted what happened between them just as much as he did so why was he getting the cold shoulder from her now? I don't what's going with you Asha Barlow, but I intend to find out thought Alec.

oooooOOOOooooo

After slamming the door to her apartment shut, Asha slid down to the floor and pulled her legs against herself. It's been three years. Three years since Paul, three years since that night and Asha thought she was over it. That's what that night with Alec was about. It was to prove she was able to move on. I guess I was wrong thought Asha. She hugged her self tight as the tears fell down her face.

oooooOOOOooooo

Alec wasn't paying attention to where he was going and he bumped into another guy.

"Hey, watch it man," growled the stranger.

Alec turned and stared at the guy. He was about six foot two with short dark brown. His eyes were so dark they almost looked black and there was an anger flashing in them. The guy might have been big and muscular, but Alec knew he could take him in a fight. However he was in no mood to get into a bar fight.

"Sorry buddy, it was an accident," said Alec as he hastily exited the bar.

The man headed over the table where the S1W guys were hanging out.

"Holy Crap, Paul!" shouted Tim. "Man, I didn't think I'd be seeing you in a long while."

"Paul, when did you get out?" asked Joe another S1W member.

"Yesterday," replied Paul. "So where's Asha?"

I can't believe Paul's out thought Tim. And things had been going so great lately for the S1W. "She went home."

Paul had been the founder of the S1W. He ran the group until he was arrested three years ago. When he first started the S1W, Paul had been all about family. He made sure all the members knew that he felt they were like family to him and he treated them as such. Leave no one behind was his motto. Over the years he slowly changed. Instead of leave no one behind his motto become by any means necessary. Collateral damage, something he had once detested, became part of the game. On a job shortly before he was arrested two members of S1W were killed. The surviving members blamed Paul. He took too many risks, the cost be damned and two of their comrades paid the ultimate price. Now he was back and would want to take over control again. Would the S1W members be ready to return control back over to their former leader? Would they even want to?

"I love how no one came to visit me in jail. Not once during three years," grumbled Paul.

"Look man," said Tim. "You know it was too risky."

"Yeah, I know, but you would at least think my own girlfriend would have come to see me," said Paul.

The S1W guys at Crash weren't sure what Paul was talking about. They all knew that Asha had dumped him before he was arrested. She never went into detail about what happened between her and Paul, but the guys all knew it was bad. That's why they felt that you shouldn't get involved with other members. When it went south, and it usually did, there were bad feelings all around.

"Listen Tim, I want you to round up everyone tomorrow and let them know their fearless leader is back. I want a meeting set up for noon so you can fill me in on what's been going on while I was away," said Paul.

"Uh Paul, I don't know if that's such a good idea. Things have been going great while you been gone. You can't just come in here and expect it to be like before," replied Tim.

"Listen buddy, I founded the S1W. I ran the S1W until I went to jail and now that I'm back I will be taking back the reigns. I want everyone to meet at headquarters tomorrow at noon. Now I think I'm going to go pay Asha a visit," said Paul.

Asha needs to be warned that Paul's back thought Tim. He didn't think it would go over well if Paul just showed up unannounced on her doorstep. "She's not home."

"I thought you said she went home," growled Paul.

"I know, but I meant she went home with a friend. Girl couldn't hold her liquor so Asha escorted her home. I think she said she was going to spend the night too make sure her friend was okay," said Tim.

oooooOOOOooooo

After a while Asha got up off the floor. She headed into her bedroom. After quickly changing into some pajamas she slipped under the covers.

Sleep remained elusive for her. She kept replaying the scene earlier scene of her and Alec at Crash in her head. Deep down she knew the transgenic wouldn't physically hurt her. Her reaction had just been second nature for her, ever since that night. Asha closed her eyes and mentally forced her self not to go there. That was what the whole night with Alec had been about. She wanted to prove to herself that she could move past it. She chose Alec because he was a guy who liked to have fun and he seemed to enjoy a one-night stand. She could have chosen one of the S1W guys, but her experience with Paul had taught her that personal pleasure and business don't mix. Simple selection reduced it to Logan or Alec. Logan however was like a brother to her, plus she knew he was in love with Max. That left Alec. However Asha hadn't counted on getting her heart involved. It could never happen again between them. Besides once Alec knew the truth he'd probably be disgusted with me anyways. At that thought Asha couldn't help, but turnover on her side and cry. Once again tears flowed freely down her face and Asha cried herself to sleep.

_More to Come_

Thank you to everyone who has been reading this story!! Please take a moment to let me know what you think. What you like. What you don't like. Anything at all. Reviews are always greatly appreciated!!


	3. Chapter 3

Asha's phone had rung several times throughout the night, but she chose not to answer it incase it was Alec. She knew he wanted an answer and he deserved one, but she didn't know what to say to him. Fear of his reaction was what was keeping her from telling him the truth. However as last night was evident, she couldn't avoid Alec.

Fixing herself a breakfast that she didn't feel like eating Asha began to plan out her day. She decided to check in at the S1W headquarters. Maybe a little work would take her mind off of Alec. Not likely, but it was worth a shot.

oooooOOOOooooo

When Asha showed up at headquarters she immediately encountered Tim who pulled her aside.

"Asha, why didn't you answer your phone?" he asked.

"That was you?" Asha couldn't tell if she was relieved or saddened that is wasn't Alec calling her all night.

"Yeah," replied Tim. "Look, I have to tell you something Asha."

"What?" There was something about his tone that set Asha on edge.

Before Tim could reply, the door burst open and Paul strode in. A huge grin spread across his face when he saw Asha.

"P-Paul," sputtered Asha, the shock of seeing her ex quickly sinking in.

"Asha, baby." Paul moved closer and started to put his arms around Asha who shrank back. "I missed you so much."

Suddenly Asha knew what Tim had wanted to tell her. Paul was back. I can't believe they released this bastard from jail, she thought.

Tim could sense the distress radiating off of Asha and decided to step in. "Paul, shouldn't we get the meeting started?"

"Give us a second," replied Paul.

Tim looked like was going to say something, but a glare from Paul silenced him.

"It's okay, Tim," said Asha. "We'll be joining everyone in a moment."

Reluctantly Tim walked out of the room leaving Asha and Paul alone.

"What do you want Paul?"

"Where have you been Asha?"

"What do you mean where have I been?"

"You didn't come to see me, your loving boyfriend, the whole time I was locked up."

"Paul, you're not my boyfriend. In case you forgot, we broke up a long time ago."

"You were being rash. I know you didn't mean what you said that day."

"I meant every word.," growled Asha.

Asha walked out of the room, not bother to look back and see if Paul was following. As if my life was already complicated enough, thought Asha. Now Paul's back.

"This conversation isn't over," said Paul as he followed Asha out of the room.

oooooOOOOooooo

Tensions were running high in the meeting. More than a few S1W members were not happy that their old leader had returned and their grumbling voiced that discontentment.

"You know what Paul, the S1W has been running smoothly since you left. You can't come back here and think it's going to be like it was before," said Tim.

"If it weren't me there wouldn't be the S1W!" growled Paul.

"If it weren't for you Tom and Ace would be still be here!" countered Asha.

"Oh don't start with that crap! They knew the risks going in," responded Paul. "It's a dangerous gig. It always has been. Now look we shouldn't be wasting time on this crap when there's work to do. I got a lead on something happening at Pharmachem. I want go in tomorrow."

"Uh Paul, don't you think that we should investigate a little bit more before we go in?" asked Tim.

"I had plenty of time for investigation when I was locked up. There wasn't much else to do in jail," huffed Paul. "Now who here knows about Pharmachem?"

An S1W member named Remy spoke up. "I know a bit about Pharmachem. My sister was sick awhile back and couldn't afford the Pharmachem drug she needed. If it weren't for a friend's help she would have died." He cast a grateful glance towards Asha.

"So then you understand the importance of this mission. They're readying a big shipment that's headed for Europe in two days. If we hijack that shipment we can hold it for ransom. They'll pay big to get it back," said Paul.

"Well if we're going to be taking the drugs why don't we give them out to people who could use them," suggested Tim. "I know of a clinic that is in dire need of medicine and supplies."

"No. The plan is to ransom the drugs back to Pharmachem. We can get more money that way. Money we need," replied Paul.

"Paul, that warehouse is guarded by the Morelli brothers. They've got mob ties," said Remy. "Do you think we can really just walk in there?"

"I know who's guarding the warehouse," growled Paul. "That's why I'm sending Asha and Tim to scope it out."

"What?" cried Tim and Asha in unison.

Several members immediately began questioning whether or not that was a good idea.

"Listen, I'm sure you guys have been doing a decent job with the S1W while I was away, but I'm back and I'm running things again. If any one has a problem with it, there's the door." Paul pointed towards the exit.

oooooOOOOooooo

"They paroled that bastard?" exclaimed Logan.

Before she headed to the warehouse, Asha had decided to pay a visit to her good friend. Their families went way back and she had been friends with Logan since she was little. He had been there for her during some rough times in the past and she always felt better after she talked to him.

"Yeah and he thinks that he can just waltz in and have it be like it used to be before everything happened."

"You guys need to stand up to him."

"It's not that simple Logan.

"You're not going to go are you?"

"I have to," said Asha. "I can't let Tim go alone."

"Asha, I don't think either of you should go. It's too risky."

"I'll be fine. Don't worry."

"I want you call me the second you get out of there so I know you and Tim are safe."

"I will."

oooooOOOOooooo

After finishing his shift at Jam Pony, Alec was about to head home to spend the night drink beer and staring at the TV when he found himself headed in a different direction. All day Asha had been running through his mind. In fact he spent so much time thinking about her that he forgot to get a signature for a package and had to double back. He was determined to figure out what was going on with her and decided that maybe Logan might have some answers. Normally when Alec had a problem he kept it to himself, but when it came to Asha, he surprised himself by wanting to do what ever it took to get through to her.

oooooOOOOooooo

Arriving at the warehouse just before dusk, Tim and Asha parked a couple of blocks away. They decided to do a quick surveillance of the building's perimeter before they headed inside.

"Remind me why we're doing this again?" asked Tim.

"Because we're idiots," replied Asha. "I don't know if I can take Paul running things again."

"I know what you mean," said Tim. "We have to do something before someone ends up getting hurt."

"Yeah, but right now I guess we should just stick to the job at hand."

"Did you notice that one guard is always in front of the loading dock, but the side entrance is left is left unguarded except for checks every ten minutes?"

"Yeah, so I guess that's where we'll go in."

"If we split up inside we can cover more ground."

"Sounds like a plan."

Asha and Tim quickly approached the side door and quick work was made of the locked. Being as quiet as possible, they slipped inside. Unbeknownst to the two S1W members there was a silent alarm that was activated when they opened the door.

"Alright, here's where we split up," said Asha.

Tim nodded. As Asha went off to the left, he went to the right. Neither were aware that there was a guard headed in Asha's direction.

oooooOOOOooooo

Asha heard footsteps coming in her direction. Turning off her flashlight, she looked for a place to hide. Spotting a large crate, she quickly duck behind it. Unfortunately she knocked over and empty can next to it and it clattered across the floor. Holding in her breath, Asha silently prayed that she would not be discovered.

oooooOOOOooooo

Logan was staring at his computer screen. He was supposed to be working on some Eyes Only stuff, but he couldn't concentrate because he was so worried about Asha. Paul being back was not a good thing. Thanks to that bastard her life was nearly destroyed once. It took a long time a long time for Asha to get past what happened and Logan was afraid that Paul 's return could destroy all of her hard work. A knock at the door, pulled Logan from his thoughts and he went to go answer it.

"Hey Logan," said Alec.

"This is a surprise," replied Logan.

"Yeah, well I needed someone to talk to."

Normally Alec would have been happy to talk to the transgenic, but right now with his mind on Asha, he didn't know how good of a conversationalist he would be. "Look Alec this isn't a good time. I'm worried about Asha."

"What about Asha?" asked Alec, concern evident in his voice.

oooooOOOOooooo

"Well, well what do we have here?" A big beefy security guard shown a bright light in Asha's eyes making it hard to see.

"Sorry mister, I was just looking for something eat," said Asha.

"Yeah right and you thought you would look inside a pharmaceutical warehouse," replied the guard. He moved under a small security light on the wall and you could see that he was tall and muscular. He had short dark hair and there was a scar that ran down his right cheek.

Asha was roughly hauled up off the floor. The guard looked her up and down. Liking what he saw he gave a sickening smile.

"Please, just let me go."

"I don't think so little missy. Right now there is another guard waiting for a response from me. I could tell him I found an intruder and there would be three guards headed this way. Or I could tell him it was that a mouse that accidentally tripped the alarm. What do you think I should do?"

Asha didn't like the way the guard was leering at her. Gripped by a sudden fear, she started pleading with the guard to just let her go. 'Look, I'll leave. No one has to know I was here. Please just let me go."

"Sorry, I can't do that." The guard grabbed a walkie-talkie off of his belt. "Phil reporting. It was just a mouse. Repeat it was just a mouse."

Asha frantically looked for a way out, but didn't see one. She tried to back away from Phil, but the crate was blocking her.

oooooOOOOooooo

"Where's the mission at?" asked Alec.

"The Pharmachem warehouse. Problem is its guards are supplied by the Morelli brothers."

"It won't be a problem for one of Maticore's finest. I'm going to the warehouse."

"Here take my car," said Logan as he tossed his keys to Alec. "You can't fit both of them on your bike.

oooooOOOOooooo

Asha was desperately struggling to get away from Phil to no avail. She ended up scraping her arm against the wood crate next to her and small droplets of blood were now appearing on her arm. Ignoring the pain in her arm, Asha continued to fight with Phil.

"Come on pretty, it will be much more enjoyable if you stop fighting me," said Phil as he put his hand on the back of Asha's head. He started to pull her mouth towards his.

Asha continued struggling with Phil to no avail. No matter how hard she tried she was unable to fight off the much bigger Phil. Tears stung the corners of her eyes and Asha felt like she was going to puke when Phil roughly kissed her.

Resigned to her fate, Asha closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable to happen when she felt Phil being forcefully pulled off of her. She fell backwards landing on the floor. Opening her eyes, Asha expected to see Tim there. Much to her surprise, her savior turned out to be Alec.

A swift uppercut from Alec sent Phil staggering backwards. Within a few seconds he had made quick work of the guard. Leaving him in a heap on the floor, Alec walked back towards Asha who was still on the floor. Bending down, he scooped her up into his arms and held her close.

Relief coursed though Asha and she sagged against Alec. She was safe.

_More to Come_

Thank you for reading. Reviews are always greatly appreciated. Please let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Hey everyone, I know I haven't updated this story in forever, but I haven't forgotten about it and one of my goals for 2009 is to finish this story. I hope you will all stick around to read it. I will not make you wait to so long for updates.

* * *

Asha was quiet, almost too quiet, as Alec tended to her arm. He wished she would say something. From what it looked like at the warehouse, Alec knew he had arrived in the nick of time.

After rescuing Asha, she and Alec went and found Tim. Luckily, he had escaped detection by the guards. Leaving Tim to his car, Alec drove Asha to her apartment. It was the first time he had been there. She lived in a nice building, nothing fancy like Logan's, but miles above Alec's place.

Alec couldn't help, but thank God that Asha wasn't seriously injured. Her arm was scraped up a bit and he had to remove a few splinters, but that was the extent of her injuries. Alec knew it could have been a lot worse.

"All done." Alec closed the lid on the first aid kit. "You know, you're pretty well stocked here."

Finally, Asha spoke "Well, it comes with being in S1W." She gave a small yawn.

"Sounds like someone's tired."

"Look, Alec, I..."

"Hey, it's late. Why don't you get some sleep and we can talk in the morning."

Sleep, I can definitely use some sleep, thought Asha. I need a good night's rest before I face Paul again. "Sleep sounds good."

Asha was still a little freaked out by the day's earlier events and she wasn't ready to be alone so she asked Alec to stay. She fell asleep curled up in his arms.

While watching the beautiful woman sleep in his arms, Alec couldn't help, but feel surprised that she had asked him to stay. She had been giving him the cold shoulder for a week and now she wants him to be with her. In the morning he would have questions to ask, but for now he would take comfort in the warmth of her body curled up against his as he waited for sleep to claim him.

oooooOOOOooooo

"Morning, sleepyhead," said Alec as smiled as Asha.

"Mornin'," replied Asha, her voice sounding sleepy. She always need a good jolt of caffeine in the morning before she was fully coherent.

"I hope you don't mind, but I made a pot of coffee."

"Mmm, Coffee." Coffee sounded good to Asha.

Two minutes later found Asha and Alec seated at the kitchen table enjoying freshly brewed coffee.

"So Alec, what were you doing at the warehouse?" asked Asha.

"I stopped by Logan's yesterday and he told me you would be there."

"Logan's?" What was Alec doing at Logan's? wondered Asha.

"Yeah, he was pretty worried about you. You should call him today."

"I will," said Asha. "About last night, thanks for rescuing me, Alec."

"I'm just glad I got there in time." Alec didn't miss they way Asha shuddered at his words.

"So, I guess you have to get to work now, huh?"

"Nope, it's my day off," said Alec. "I was thinking maybe we could do something together today."

"I don't think that's a good idea. I've got to check in with S1W."

"Asha, we need to talk."

"Alec, please, let's not do this now."

"Do what? Talk about what's going on with us," said Alec. "We spend an amazing night together and you're gone by the time I wake up. You spend a week avoiding me and when I finally do run into you at Crash you look like your scared of me when I grabbed your arm. Did I do something wrong?"

"No, you didn't," said Asha. "I'm not scared of you, Alec. What happened at Crash was just a reflex."

"A reflex?"

Asha silently cursed her big mouth.

The silence he was getting from Asha worried Alec. He got the feeling something big was going on with her. He wasn't sure he'd like what she would say, but he needed to know. He didn't want to give up on her. "Please, Asha, whatever is going on, you can tell me."

It's now or never, realized Asha. I've been carrying this around for three years. Maybe it's time to let it out. "Three years ago, I was on assignment for S1W. There was this guy Jasper who we believed was involved in selling stolen technology to the highest bidder. I got a job as a waitress in this private gambling club that he frequented. Jasper liked young, pretty girls so I was supposed to hang around his table and flirt with him a little. Worked like a charm. He invited me to apartment for dinner. I didn't really wanna go, but I figured I might be able to do a little snooping when I was there. Besides, what harm could come from having dinner with the guy? God, was I wrong." Asha paused, not sure if she wanted to continue.

"Asha, what happened?" prodded Alec gently.

"Dinner was a bust, as Jasper wouldn't let me out of his sight. There was no way I could do any snooping so I decided to skip dessert and leave. Jasper asked me to stay for a drink, but I just wanted to get out of there. When I went to get my coat he grabbed my arm. I told him to let go, but he wouldn't. He said that I wasn't leaving until we had dessert. I told him I wasn't hungry for dessert. I didn't realize he wasn't talking about food." As she was flooded with memories, tears fell unbidden known Asha's face. "I tried to get away from him, but he was too strong for me."

"Did he, did he?" Alec couldn't bring himself to say the word rape.

"Yes, he raped me." After admitting the awful truth, Asha started sobbing.

"Oh, God!" Gathering the sobbing woman into his arms, Alec held her tight. Her admission certainly explained why she left that night. I hope I didn't make her do something she didn't want to.

After awhile, Asha's crying subsided and she gently extricated herself from Alec's embrace.

"Asha, about the other night. I didn't make you do something you weren't ready for, did I?"

"Go, no!" cried Asha. "I wanted the other night as much as you did. I needed to prove to myself that I was over the rape. I needed to be able to move on."

Wait a minute, thought Alec. "Move on? That's all that that was. I was just a convenient lay so you could move on. You weren't with me because you cared about me."

"Alec, I didn't mean it like that."

Alec couldn't remember the last time he had felt so angry. He had put his heart on the line once before and it blew up in face, literally. Now, he'd done it again and what did he get? He got used. Alec was by no means a saint when it came to the opposite sex, but right now he was letting his hurt and anger cloud his emotions.

"I do care about you, Alec," cried Asha.

"Save it!" Alec angrily stormed out of Asha's apartment. He didn't look back to see the tears running down her face.

oooooOOOOooooo

Needing to clear his head, Alec took a nice long drive in Logan's Pontiac. It's not my gas I'm wasting, he thought.

Had Alec really thrown a rape victim's trauma back in her face? He was hurt and maybe he wanted Asha to hurt too. After Rachel Berrisford, Alec swore that he would not get serious with someone. No more falling in love to only end up hurt. He wasn't sure he was in love with Asha, but Alec was sure he was falling.

After awhile, Alec decided he'd better return Logan's SVU before the man sent Max after him.

oooooOOOOooooo

"You know, you're a real ass," said Logan.

"Gee Alec, thanks for returning my car," replied Alec. "I guess Asha called you."

"She did. I know you're not a saint, but I never pegged you as cruel."

"Cruel? She uses me and I'm the one that's cruel."

"Like you never used a woman before."

"I make clear that I'm not looking for a relationship. I don't lead them on."

"Is that what you think Asha was doing? Leading you on."

"No, it's what I know she was doing."

"Asha really cares for you."

"Yeah well, she's got a strange way of showing it."

"She opened up to you. She told you what happened her three years ago. She's never told me the whole story. In fact, I don't think she's ever told anyone. I've had to guess what happened to her and I don't like my conclusions."

Listening to Logan's words, Alec started to feel a little guilty about how he acted towards Asha earlier.

"There was a knock on my door around two A.M. I kept late hours sometimes with my Eyes Only stuff, but not that late so I had no idea who it could be. When I opened the door, I didn't recognize her at first. Her face was a mess of bruises and her left eye was swollen shut. It looked like someone had taken a hammer to her face. Her clothes were torn and there was dried blood on her nose and upper lip. The worst was her wrists."

"Her wrists?" said Alec softly.

"They were close to black. I assume from the bastard gripping them so tight as he held her down. Asha didn't know where to go so she came to my place. I took her to the hospital. I didn't want to leave her side, but the doctor wouldn't let me in the room as he examined her. I stood in the hallway listening to her sobs. For you to throw that in her face, you truly are an ass."

God, I really am scum of the earth and last night it could have happened to her again, realized Alec.

"But you know what? Asha defended you to me. For some reason, which I can't begin to fathom, she cares about you."

"You're right, I'm an ass, but I'm gonna fix this," vowed Alec.

"You'd better because wheelchair or no wheelchair, I'll kick your ass if you hurt her," replied Logan.

_More to Come_

Thank you for reading! Reviews are always greatly appreciated! Please let me know what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Hey everyone, I'm so sorry that I have updated in six months. My muse went all wonky and disappeared. I hope to not leave you hanging so long in between updates. I still love Asha and Alec and won't abandon them.

* * *

_"You're right, I'm an ass, but I'm gonna fix this," vowed Alec._

_"You'd better because wheelchair or no wheelchair, I'll kick your ass if you hurt her," replied Logan._

Opening up her front door, Asha was surprised to see Alec standing there. After the way he acted earlier, Asha was sure he wouldn't want to have anything to do with her. Not that she blamed him. Nobody wants to be used. "Alec, what are you doing here?"

After taking in her clothes, which were jeans and a t-shirt, Alec spoke. "You need to get changed. Do you have any sweatpants?"

"Alec, what's going on?" asked Asha, confusion in her voice.

Alec was more a man of action than words, so after riding around on his bike for a while, just thinking, he knew what he needed to do. "I've got something in store for you."

"What is it?" asked Asha, her curiosity no piqued.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then get changed."

After Asha got changed, she left with Alec and they headed to an abandoned warehouse that he sometimes used for training.

"Alec, what are we doing here?" asked Asha, as she took note of their surroundings. She could see some mats on the floor and a read punching bag hanging from the ceiling.

"Training."

Asha quirked an eyebrow "Training?"

"Yeah, I thought I'd help you learn some self-defense moves. You know, just in case." Alec had taken note of the fact that Asha had been unable to fight off her rapist and the guard at Pharmachem. He wanted to make sure that never happened again.

"I don't know, Alec..."

"Don't worry, I'm not gong to hurt you."

"I know you're not."

"Well then, come one, it will be a lot of fun."

Two hours later found Asha hot, sweaty and out of breath. Much to the blonde's dismay, Alec looked perfectly fine. How does he do it? she wondered, having no idea that Alec was a transgenic and that's why he was no worse for the wear after their training session.

"Not bad," said Alec and he meant it. It was slow going at first, but then Asha got the hang of things. However, he knew this was just the start and that she'd need more training sessions.

"Thanks, Alec." Asha took a deep breath. There was something she needed to say and she hoped Alec would listen. "Look about earlier, I'm sorry."

"Asha..."

"Please, Alec, I need to say this."

Alec nodded.

"I know you think I used you and I'm sorry for that. Yes, I wanted so badly to move on after what Jasper did to me, but if that was all I wanted I could have just hooked up with one of the S1W guys. That's not what I really wanted. I wanted to be with someone I really cared about. I really like you, Alec, and that scares me a little because you're the first person in a long time that has me feels things that I never thought I would ever feel again. I just hope you can forgive me and maybe we could start over again." Asha looked crestfallen when Alec started shaking his head. Tears fell as Asha mistakenly thought Alec didn't want to be with her anymore

Gently, Alec cupped Asha's cheek and brushed away her tears with his thumb. "Baby, you have nothing to apologize for. In fact, I should be the one apologizing."

"Alec..."

"Nope, it's my turn to talk. I've never met anyone like you Asha. You're smart, funny and passionate about the causes that you believe in. For a long time I thought love wasn't in the cards for me and I was okay with that. I liked my life and didn't want a relationship that would only complicate things. But you, you make me want things I that I didn't know I wanted. That's why when you gave me the cold shoulder, I was so frustrated. Now I know the reason why. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you went through and I never should have thrown it back in your face like that. I can only hope that I haven't screwed things up between us too badly because I know I told you in the past to leave me alone, but I don't want that. I want to to be with you, to have a relationship with you."

"Alec, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?"

"I guess I am." Alec was desperately hoping that Asha would say yes.

Grabbing Alec by the shirt, Asha pulled him in for a long kiss, letting that answer for her.

Finally, the need for air forced the young lovers apart.

"How about we go grab some dinner?" asked Alec.

"Sure," replied Asha. "But first, I need to a shower. How is it that I am all hot and sweaty and you look fine?"

Looking into Asha eyes, Alec knew he need to tell her about Manticore and being a transgenic. He could only hope that she believed him and didn't run away screaming. "Asha, there's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

"I, um, I... well you see..." Alec didn't know where to start. How could he say it without her thinking he was crazy or get angry for not telling her sooner?

"How about you tell me some other time," said Asha. Leaning in, she pulled Alec down for another steamy kiss.

Head fuzzy from the kiss, Alec spoke. "For all you know, I could want to tell you that I eat kittens for breakfast."

"Kittens for breakfast?" Asha couldn't help, but laugh at that.

God, she looks so beautiful when she laughs. Alec knew he needed to tell Asha everything about who he was and where he came from, but now was not the time for that. Soon, soon he would tell her and deep down inside he need not worry. Logan would back him up and if he learned anything about Asha is that she wasn't quick to judge. For now though, he would just revel in being with her.

_More to Come_

Thank you for reading! Reviews are always greatly appreciated. Please take a moment to let me know what you think.


	6. Chapter 6

Asha couldn't keep the smile off of her face as she headed to an early morning S1W meeting. It had been two weeks since Alec had shown up at her door and their relationship was moving forward at a steady pace. They had slowed down the sexual aspect of it to take some time to really get to know one another. Alec had opened up to Asha about Manticore and the fact that he was a transgenic. To Asha, it didn't matter. She knew in her heart, that Alec was a good person. Where he came from didn't matter to her.

Another reason for the smile on Asha's face was today was the day that the members of S1W would inform Paul that he was no longer in charge. Things had changed since Paul went to jail and the S1W members knew that they didn't want to go back to his way of doing things. So many risks for so little pay off.

"Hey, Tim," said Asha. "Is he here?"

"Yep," replied Tim. "And he's already started in on his daily power trip."

"Well, thankfully, after today we won't have to listen to him anymore." Asha followed Tim into the main meeting room.

"So nice of you to finally join us today, Asha," said Paul with a scowl. Ever since Asha made it clear that she was not getting back together with Paul, he had a nasty attitude towards her. "Since the trip to Pharmachem turned out to be a bust we need to come up with a new plan. I mean, I've been back for two weeks and you guys haven't done squat."

"We got a shipment of baby formula to the third street orphanage," said Tim. "I'd hardly call that squat."

"That's small potatoes," replied Paul. "We need to do something important."

"There's a group of children that won't go hungry tonight. I'd call that important," said Asha. "Look Paul, things have changed since you went to jail."

"Don't start that crap again, Asha. You know I run S1W. That's the way it's always been and that's the way it's gonna stay," said Paul.

"Think again, man," replied Joe. "Paul, we've been trying to tell you for two weeks now that you're not in charge."

"Not in charge of the group I founded," scoffed Paul. "You need to think again."

"Look, Paul, we're not saying you can't still be involved with S1W, but things have been running smooth lately." Hell, thought Tim, you going to jail was the best thing that ever happened us. Of course he didn't say that out loud. "You can't just barge in here and expect us to all just fall in line. It doesn't work like that anymore."

"Nice, after all the things I've done for you guys, this is how you repay me." growled Paul.

"Why don't we ask Ace and Tom how they feel?" said Asha. "Oh wait, we can't since they're dead."

"Again with that, Asha. You're like a damn broken record," hissed Paul.

"You know, I'm beginning to think you're glad that Ace died," replied Asha. "I mean, how dare he leave S1W so he could take care of his girlfriend and their baby."

Anger got the best of Paul and he slapped Asha across the face hard.

"What the hell?" yelled Tim as he rushed over to Asha's side.

Shock fell over Asha and she stood there in disbelief. Paul might be an ass, but he had never raised a hand to her before.

Grabbing Paul by the collar, Joe shoved him up against the wall while the other S1W members just watched in shock. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Asha, are you okay," asked Tim, concern evident in his voice.

Asha didn't reply. Instead she stalked over to Paul here body radiating anger. "You're out!"

"What?" asked Paul.

"We were gonna let you stay in the group, but that's not gonna happen now." Asha hadn't felt this angry in a long time. "Get your stuff and get the hell out of here!"

Looking around the room and taking in the faces of the S1W members, Paul realized that he didn't have a single ally in the group. After everything, he'd done for them, he couldn't believe his own group would turn on him. "I'll go, but you should know you're all making a big mistake listening to this bitch."

Upon hearing Paul call Asha a bitch, a couple of members rushed forwarded, ready to let Paul have it. But before anyone could reach him, Asha was there. Remembering what Alec taught her, Asha gave Paul a hard punch to the gut causing him to double over. Then she brought up her knee and connected it with his groin. To the sound of Paul moaning in pain, Asha walked out of the room.

With great satisfaction, Tim and Joe grabbed Paul and hauled to the door. With a not so gentle touch, the former leader was shoved out the door.

oooooOOOOooooo

Asha gave a groan as she looked at her face in the mirror. A dark purple bruise had bloomed over her left cheek. A bruise that would still be there when Alec picked her up for their date. She had thought about canceling, but after the rough day she had, she wanted nothing more than to be with Alec, even if she knew he would freak once he saw her face.

A knock on the door, pulled Asha front her thoughts and she exited the bathroom. Opening up her front door, she saw Alec standing there looking handsome as ever.

"Hey, baby." Alec let out a gasp when he saw Asha's bruised face. "What happened?"

Stepping back, Asha let Alec into her apartment without answering her question.

"Asha, what happened to your face?"

"Paul slapped me."

"Dead, he's fracking dead," growled Alec.

Somehow Asha had managed to convince Alec not go after Paul that night. Instead they stayed in, ordered pizza and watched a movie. Asha fell asleep, curled up next to Alec, with her head on his shoulder.

Looking at his sleeping girlfriend, Alec felt a sense of pride in her that she had been able to defend herself against Paul. He was glad that their training sessions were paying off. However, he still planned on paying a visit to Paul and giving him a piece of his mind and his fist.

_More to Come_

Thank you for reading. Reviews are always greatly appreciated. Please let me know what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

The building was mostly dark with only a small handful of windows lit up. It was one of those places that had once been a factory and, during the booming nineties, was converted in luxury apartments. Once the Pulse happened the luxury and tenants disappeared and it was now a crumbling haven for squatters. Alec wasn't too surprised that this was what Paul called home. After three years of being in prison, the pickings were rather slim when it came to finding a place to live. No money, no decent abode.

When Alec had found out that Paul was responsible for Asha's bruised face, he began formulating ways to kill the man. For Asha's sake, he would refrain from killing the bastard, but that didn't mean he wouldn't teach a Paul a lesson he wouldn't soon forget.

oooooOOOOooooo

Paul lay on his ratty old mattress, finally falling asleep after spending the night listening to his neighbors have a major row. Just when he thought they had stopped and he could get some sleep, the shouting would start up again. He needed to get some sleep so his mind would be fresh and he could start planning a way to get back at Asha and S1W. He vowed that they would regret kicking him out. He had just started drifting off when the sound of someone banging rather loudly on the door pull him back to being awake. Mumbling a sting of curses that would make a sailor blush, he shuffled out of the bedroom and headed for the door. Opening it up, Paul found a rather irate looking man standing there. He looked vaguely familiar to Paul. Was he a sector cop?

"What do you want?" Please don't let him be a sector cop, prayed Paul. Having already made his weekly payment to the police, so that they would turn a blind eye to his squatting, he didn't have any extra money laying around.

"Are you Paul?" Alec wanted to make sure he had the right guy. Didn't want to hurt an innocent man by mistake.

Paul nodded. "Look buddy, I already gave money to Officer Jones yesterday. You're not supposed to come around til next week."

Alec gave a small laugh at the thought of being mistaken for a cop. "Don't worry, I'm not from the sector police."

Paul breathed a sigh of relief. "Then who are you and what do you want?" Could it be that S1W was sending someone over to beg for his return? After being gone for three years, he didn't know all of the current members. Maybe they realized they made a huge mistake and someone over to beg his forgiveness and ask him to return.

Deciding he didn't want any neighbors getting nosy, Alec pushed his way into the apartment and shut the door. He had to fight hard to control his temper as he wanted nothing more than to pound Paul's face until it was unrecognizable. But he had things that he needed to say first.

"Well, aren't you rude for someone who's come to apologize," said Paul.

"What?"

"Aren't you here on behalf of S1W?" asked Paul. "Cause you guys realized you made a mistake."

"Wrong again. Way wrong, as kicking you out was the best thing S1W has ever done and I'm sure they don't want you back. The reason I'm here is we need to have a chat," Alec used the word chat rather loosely "about you thinking it's okay to raise a hand to my girlfriend."

"Buddy, I don't know your girlfriend and I think you need to leave." It didn't even occur to Paul that Alec was talking about Asha.

"My girlfriend, Asha, has a huge bruise on her cheek from you slapping her."

"Asha's your g-g-girlfriend," sputtered Paul.

"Yes, she is and I don't take too kindly to people putting their hands on her," growled Alec.

Paul regained his composure. "She didn't tell me she was seeing anyone."

"That's because it's none of your business."

"So what, you've come to warn me to stay away from her?" asked Paul. "I should be the one warning you."

"What?"

"About Asha. That girl is nothing, but trouble."

"I'd shut my mouth, if I were you," growled Alec.

Angry over being kick out of the group he founded in such a humiliating way, right or wrong, Paul placed the blame all on Asha. She ruined my life, this is my chance to return the favor by letting her boyfriend know what she's really like, thought Paul. "I wasted two years of my life on that bitch and you know what it got me? It got me crap. I sent her on a mission any rookie could handle and she screwed it up. All she had to do was get a little bit of information from this guy Jasper and she couldn't even do that right."

Jasper? As in the Jasper who raped Asha, wondered Alec.

"Her job was to find out about some technology Jasper had. Technology that people would pay big money for. If she had just given him what he wanted, she would have been able to get it out of him. I had a source who told me that Jasper could be very chatty after sex and that with a few questions, Asha would have gotten everything we needed out of him. It was so simple. I had gotten us jobs in the club he frequented. A couple of words about what Asha was like in bed and Jasper was jumping to ask her out. But she couldn't follow through. Then, you know what, I call her on her incompetence and she gets mad and dumps me. She can't do her job right and then has the nerve to dump me for pointing that out."

Alec stood there, in shock, as he listened to what Paul had to say about Asha. Paul had just admitted to serving up Asha to the man who brutally raped her. That man nearly destroyed Asha's life and it all started with Paul. With that realization, Alec's restraint flew right out the window.

"Buddy, you should get out before she brings you down too. She's nothing, but ..." Before Paul had a chance to finish his sentence, a swift uppercut shut him up.

"You son of a bitch!" growled Alec. "How could you do that to her?"

Fueled by raw anger, Alec made swift work of Paul. A series of hard blows bloodied Paul's face and several well placed kicks cracked more than a few ribs. Every fiber of Alec's being wanted to kill Paul for what he did to Asha, but he stopped himself. He was no longer a part of Manticore and murder had no place in his life.

By this point, Paul was nothing more than a moaning lump on the floor. Every word out of his mouth, a plea for Alec to stop. Pleas similar to the ones Asha made when she was being raped. Paul was sure that he going to die that night and he begged Alec not to kill hm.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna kill you. I want to, but I won't because I know Asha wouldn't want me to. She's a good person. Better than your sorry ass could ever hope to be and for her sake, I'll spare you."

Crouching down in front of Paul, Alec lifted the man's head up so he could look in his eyes. "So help me, if you ever bother Asha or anyone else in S1W, I won't hesitate to snap your neck, you understand me?"

Still reeling from the pain he was in, Paul didn't answer Alec.

"Do you understand me?" growled Alec.

Paul gave a weak nod which was all that his body would allow.

"Good." Letting go of Paul, Alec stood up. He walked out of the apartment, not once bothering to look back ad the pathetic excuse for a human being lying on the floor.

Pain radiating from every inch of his body, Paul lay on the floor rethinking his decision to turn down his grandmother's offer to stay with her in New Mexico. As soon as he could move without pain, he was heading for Santa Fe.

oooooOOOOooooo

Once outside in the fresh air, Alec looked at his watch. He'd better hurry if he didn't want to be late for his date with Asha. She had invited him over for a home cooked meal. He felt dirty, just from being in Paul's apartment, and wanted to get cleaned up and put on some clean clothes. He made a decision not to tell Asha what Paul had told him. He knew being raped was one of the most painful moments of her life. She didn't need to know that Paul, a man she once trusted and loved, was responsible for it. It wasn't because he thought Asha still cared for Paul because he knew she didn't. It's just that Alec knew that it would be an extremely painful revelation for her. It would her hurt to know what Paul had done and Alec vowed not to let her get hurt again. Not if he could help it.

_More to Come_

Thanks for reading! Reviews are always greatly appreciated. Please let me know what you think.


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